Dawn's view

Got 10 minutes? Turn a photos into a sketch!

2010-09-09T09:54:00.012-05:00

Last month, I was asked by the editor of a new photographic publication to write a recurring column on PhotoShop. "Really? I'm honored", I answered! "Of course I would!" So, gentle readers - here is the first column. Its on a much-asked-for technique - and now, I see on the web, been covered a few times. But, here's my version. At least the mechanics of the process.

Bryan Snow, photographed and artistically manipulated by Dawn Snow, CPP.

Turning a photo into a sketch.
There are many ways to get a photograph turned into “art”. In this column, I will be covering only one way. Turning a photograph into a sketch. The choice of photograph is important. Sometimes, you will try this technique on a particular photograph it may not work. Do not fear, this is only one technique. The key here is to experiment.

For this tip, you will need to have a basic understanding in PhotoShop (version is not important) of layers, manipulating and reordering layers.

Open your photograph in PhotoShop.  When you open an image in PhotoShop, you have only one layer, the Background layer. It usually contains the image on which you want to make your adjustments or edits. Unfortunately in this state, it is uneditable. Turn that frown upside down! Simply, double click on the background layer icon in the Layers Palette and create your first layer. (This is handy for other functions as well!)
Now that your photograph is editable, you will need to duplicate your layer. In PhotoShop speak, you will “jump” your layer. Control/command J does this easy-piesy. Or do it old school, and find that command under the Layer menu>Duplicate Layer.
The next thing is to desaturate this new layer. Don’t get fancy and do a “black & white” conversion here. We just need it simple and sweet. Keyboard shortcut? (Windows)Shift/Ctrl/U or (Mac)Shift/Cmd/U.
YIKES! We need to duplicate this layer again...Settle down, just follow along. Remember that trick? Jump the layer: Ctrl/Cmd+J.
Here comes the fun. Invert this layer. (Make it into a negative! Cool!) Cntrl/Cmd+I. Or old school: Image Menu>Adjustment>Invert. 7.tiff Now set this active layer to “Color dodge”in your Layer’s palette. You can do that by going up to the top of the Layers palette and clicking on the down-pointing arrow to the right of the word "Normal", and then select "Color Dodge" from the drop-down list.
Don’t worry, you haven’t done anything wrong. Your image is now white. Really. The magic comes in next step.
Apply the Gaussian Blur Filter to this active layer (the one you inverted and set to “Color Dodge”.
Depending on your tastes and your specific image, you can set the Radius amount of Gaussian blur with the slider bar at what ever level you like. Generally, a lower radius level creates an image that is very sharp - almost as if drawn with a hard lead and a mechanical pencil. The higher radius levels create more of a soft lead graphite look worked over with a stump. Its your choice!
You can by all means, stop here. I did on the portrait I did of my husband and partner in crime, Bryan, pictured above. You have a fabulous sketch, worthy of that empty frame! But, to me, color is also important. So, I will duplicate the background (again) and drag this new layer to the top of the stack of layers. On this active top color layer, its your original photograph, run an artistic filter on it. I chose Dry Brush. Once that is complete, change the layer mode to something that shows enough color without losing the wonderful sketchy feeling. Pin light worked best for this image. (I did run through all of them.) 
San Xavier Mission outside of Tucson, AZ.
Photographed and artistically manipulated by Dawn Snow, CPP
A note: sometimes you will need to increase density of blacks or color, I will make these final image adjustments on a Levels or Contrast adjustment layer, and fiddle around with it until I like it.

Remember, the effects you get by combining layers, layer modes and artistic effects are only limited by your imagination. I created this portrait in less than 15 minutes. Stack up your layers with interesting textures or different colors. Instead of using the original photograph to reassert color, paint it in.

The choice of photograph is important. Sometimes, you will try this technique on a particular photograph it may not work. Do not fear, this is only one technique.
As a friend of mine says: “If you aren’t having fun, you aren’t doing it right.”
So, have fun and experiment. (Thanks Mark! See, I was listening!)

Pixie and the Pest

2010-05-05T09:07:00.012-05:00

Last week Bryan and I went shooting for the joy of shooting. Being a commercial shooter, I sometimes forget to photograph something entirely for myself.(I had the same problem when I was a graphic designer). We went north of Fredricksburg, TX and found the most beautiful views and vistas filled with bluebonnets and birds. The kick was that we decided to experiment with High Dynamic Range photography. The image shown here is one of those I worked on. (I'm tickled, my mom wants it for Mother's Day! Although, my dad isn't wild about the overprocessed look. I told him not to worry, its a trend!)

So, I was pretty pumped when my cousin, Rose Reiseck, from Iowa contacted me, via Facebook to see if I could do something similar to shots she took of her horse called Pixie. I thought, sure, why not?

So here they are, the before and after.

I hope Rose likes it, although its just over processed as opposed to being a true HDR. There are elements in both I love. The soft transitions between light and shadow on the original, but the punch in the processed one can't be beat! Its like the choice between sweet tea or unsweet tea. Its a matter of taste. (Have I mentioned that I want to photograph a horse.. someone who owns one, call me! We can do a trade!)

Wow, I love my life!

2010-02-25T11:08:00.003-06:00

After my time in corporate America, I knew I was very bitter and more than a little cynical. I had to grow a thick skin being a naturally sensitive and empathic person. I was eaten for lunch and spat out on several occasions. I used to joke that I had to grow my B----- in order to survive. My husband finally put his foot down about 3 years ago and demanded that I couldn't say that any more.
Having these feelings that my talents were not valued at work in addition to not being able to express what I needed to express at home, drove me to be a very bitter individual. Oh, I hid it well... I smiled, laughed a lot (frankly, a little too loud). My friends knew, because, well, negativity has a way of affecting the rest of your life and all of your relationships. I did and said things that I am not proud of. But, I am only human.
I knew that if I walked around putting out this pessimistic energy that I would attract pessimistic energy back to me. In this life, you get what you give... so.
Lent was a few weeks ago. I usually went to early mass, but had to miss it entirely this year. That did not deter me from prayerfully considering what I would give up. I couldn't think of a thing. Those of you who know me well know that my diet is already pretty strict. That wouldn't work. Humm... then I had a huge epiphany!
I will give up the thing that colors this pessimistic outlook - the bitterness I held for many situations and people. I realized that holding on to that bitterness was very selfish. So, I am giving up bitterness. Now I simply laugh at the situations and people, smile broadly and forgive them in my heart. It takes actively forgiving them EVERY TIME I see them, but I am beginning to love my life again. My husband can even see a difference. Wow.
The bitterness was really holding me back. Since then I have consciously put several things in motion to "let it shine", my talents and my desire to do great works. And I think its working. I have been called by people who truly value my God given talents and my calls have been met with smiles. So, if you hear me humming that old vacation Bible school song: "This little light of mine" you'll know what I am doing...
loving life.

A touchy subject...

2010-01-23T11:08:00.003-06:00

I've been marketing and marketing and marketing. Not really actively yet, but thinking, brainstorming and such. Trying to get the creative juices flowing and bouncing ideas off my silent partner, my hubby. He and I always come back to the idea that good enough is good enough for most people. They wouldn't want to pay for a CERTIFIED professional photographer to come and deliver HIGH END images of what ever they need. What I see is a need to educate. Educate our clients and end users on why we demand the prices we do. I hear from so many clients:
"Ohhh, that's a little pricey...I'll just get my Aunt Edna to shoot the photos for me. She's got the exact same camera as you!" At this point I realize that I will not be getting the gig and that they will be happy with "good enough".
So many of my colleagues say that we should not criticize other photographers (non-professionals) work. Why not? As professionals - or people who aspire to be - shouldn't we always welcome criticism? Truly, I'd prefer constructive criticism, but all criticism is a way to expand our vision and grow our talents.
Let me back up. I am getting ahead of myself.
I earned my Graphic Design degree back in 1984 - way before desktop computers & DTP. I worked for several production houses and several other printing firms. Honing my skills and talents, all the way. Suddenly, the desktop computer arrived and church secretaries were calling me up wanting training on Aldus Pagemaker and Adobe Illustrator. Suddenly, my freelance work was drying up. So many people thought that the way to great design started first with a personal computer and a program. I intended to wait it out. (I am still waiting.)
Several years later I took a position with the Fortune 200 company (the one I just left) and so many people at that firm asked me: oh, you are so talented; how do you know what colors go together, how do you design for a presentation, how do you design a logo... I kept going back to a music analogy. I'd ask them, "Do you own a musical instrument?" They'd respond, "Sure!" It was at this point in the conversation that I'd ask them to write me concerto. I'd go on to explain that while they had the means to listen to a nice piece of music and many of them owned pianos... not many of them could create something out of nothing. So many of them took it hard. But in reality, they were insulting me and the talents I brought to the table. (okay - call me Simon Cowl)
Its the same thing with visual arts. Drawing, painting, photography... you have to start with talent and inspiration. Inspiration compels you to learn more, to hone your craft, to learn your tools. Talent is the road. Talent tells you to do it one way over another. Your confidence tells you that its right. Skills without talent is empty.
When I show up to an event, several people tell me "ohh, I have that camera!" or "oh - isn't that lens great? I have that one too!" What used to separate the pros from the "weekend warriors" were the tools we purchase. With so much disposable income in today's America, that difference has become invisible. Its the fact that we've honed our skills and talents to capture what ever moment is in front of us. Its our eye that we've developed over years of "SEEING" and looking for the light. Not everyone can do what I do. Because not everyone can see what I see. The main difference between a pro and an amateur? The pro. (Really not so invisible after all!)
If you want to know how to become a PRO - ask me.

Imaging USA

2010-01-08T18:29:00.003-06:00

Well, the hubby and I are actually off to Nashville... Imaging USA; PPA's international conference for 2010. January is off to a great start. One of my prints made it into the Traveling Loan Collection (Snowy Canyon--- posted here several months ago). So, it'll be a kick to see it hanging with all the great photographs of 2009... wow. Imagining, setting goals and visualizing (with major effort and action) pays off!

hope to see some of my heros... and make some new friends as well as catch up with some old friends!!

I hope to come back rejuvenated and full of vinegar to get things rolling for the rest of the year...

A life raft...

2009-12-22T10:13:00.005-06:00

The ocean which is PhotoShop.

Before I begin, let me tip my hat to the thousands of my brother and sister Photoshop “experts.” They have been my salvation and my inspiration for so many projects. I thank you.

PhotoShop is as wide & deep as the ocean. I have been floating on this sea of PS since 1997. For many years, people have been asking me for tips and tricks to navigate PS, and so here is my attempt to build a life raft for you. Please understand that this takes time and dedication. You have to do the time. This is NOT easy.

The full PDF is here.

What kind of photographer am I??!! (grin)

2009-11-27T16:39:00.004-06:00

Wow... the hubby and I realized that we hadn't yet taken out the recycling this morning. Being very lazy after the big turkey day (Thanks mom!!) we had slept in. I walked outside a little after Bryan only to greeted with my very worried kitty (Morwyn) wanting in. I let her in & proceeded down the walkway to access the day with my coffee in hand.
Suddenly, I felt fast movement from above and nearly had to duck as a Peregrine* falcon swooped down. He lit in a tree across the street. By the time I got back with my camera - he was gone! No photos!
(T'was a big raptor of some sort - Brown/dark brown - large checked marks under the wings. I assume a Peregrine as they are in the area!)
Lesson learned - never leave the house without a camera - even if I am not leaving the yard!

Hobbyist or Photographer? Which are you?

2009-10-29T20:44:00.004-05:00

I found out recently that a very busy - oh, I'll call him a "shooter" is "resenting" his popularity. That he considers himself a hobbyist and doesn't want to spend the effort it takes to do the real jobs. Hum, strange that. I always thought he loves shooting. Although, in his early days, when I was training him to shoot, he would always come back complaining that the person he was photographing was not some great beauty. This really riled me. I couldn't understand why he couldn't SEE the person he was photographing. It was after all, his job to take the best editorial portrait of that person! This should have been my first clue.
Later, after he learned all he could from me and had moved on, he was always thrilled when I lost a gig or he gained one. Never mind that these were internal clients and neither one of us booked our own time.
Recently, I gave him the gift he had been working so hard for. Now he is busier than ever, and I am happier than ever. Sour grapes? A little bit!
This guy has always bought the latest and greatest gear. I drooled at the newest toy he always showed up with. I now realize, that he was hiding behind the technology. He can take a great picture, but cannot make art. Its the gear that has him fascinated, not the pursuit of art.
So, what makes a person a hobbyist or a photographer? This question is as deep as learning PhotoShop. The equipment is the same, the printing is the same. Everything that separated the "men" from the "boys" is so easily accessible now. And cheap too!
Ask yourself, which are you? A hobbyist (M/DWAC* ) or a photographer. One thing is certain: your banker knows for sure!

Have fun!
Dawn
Not a MWAC

*Mom or Dad With A Camera

Copyright or right to copy?

2009-10-11T09:47:00.006-05:00

Scenario 1: Your neighbor has a fabulous garden. They keep it weeded, sprayed, and generally perfect. The fruits of their labors are easily seen through the fence. You enjoy it every day! The flowers reach above your fence. You need flowers for a bouquet to give to your mom. So, you reach across and take your pick.

Scenario 2: Would you stand in a store and steal something? "oh, look... this is so neat - I have to have it" You can afford it. You are generally a very honest person. But, the item ends up in your pocket anyway. (Kleptomania is not the discussion here.)

Ten or so years ago I started doing business graphics for corporate America. The internet was really coming into its own, and the graphics/photographs were there for the taking. Just to give you a time frame: this was around the time of the P2P music sharing. We were an ASCAP shop and so my department knew music was a no-no and had a library full of Royalty free music, but not so much with photographs/graphics. Especially because the research for an appropriate graphic was so cumbersome. One either had to flip through a printed book or browse a CD in a difficult search program. And Google with the internet beckoned with its vast content. If anything, the difficulty has not changed. Researching for an appropriate image is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. This is one reason why I became a corporate photographer. It was sometimes easier to shoot the item, than it was to find it shot exactly the way I needed it. Of the graphics library we owned, I think we only used 10% of the shots because of the quality and appropriateness. And then, my clients became weary of the same images over and over.
As I educated myself on the use of images from the internet, I became more and more of a "stealth" Copyright evangelist. The turning point in my career came when I was asked by the CEO (of the day) to get an image of a famous Americana artist's painting to use as a 'Happy Thanksgiving' background -- "... get it off the internet" were his words. I didn't. It was wrong and I knew it. I pushed back. I did contact the artist's estate to see what the procedure would be. I found out then, that it would be less than 1000.00 to use the image in that manner. A great lesson in intellectual property. You just have to ask & sometimes there is a cost! (The other lesson: don't say no to the CEO. I didn't use the image because they didn't want to pay for it; they were syncing it with CR'd music to boot and I never did a presentation for the CEO again. Don't worry - I transitioned to a better position - I hated that position anyway! )
After that, I read as much as I could find, and followed the P2P legal shenanigans that were followed in the media. I didn't agree with the large fines, but then I also didn't agree with what the P2P communities were doing.
Over the years, I trained colleagues in the fine art of seeing and designing - photographs and graphics. One of my greatest disappointments came a few years ago when I realized that a person I trained to take over my position was pulling (stealing) photos off the internet to use in internal publications. I had a talk with that person, but I cannot say that person is 100% compliant to this day.
Last year, I did a fund raiser photo shoot for PPA's Charities: Operation Smile. Portraits of my church family. All proceeds went to fix cleft palettes in 3rd world countries. I educated the church office in the fair use of the images I provided; but I am seeing on the Social Media sites more and more of these portraits show up! The people who bought a package are scanning them to use on Facebook and the like. To be honest, I'm a bit flattered. But I'd like to be asked. Not so I can charge them more money (although that is another revenue stream) but so I can better understand where my images (my intellectual property) appears & I can control what I create. Taking a photo of a photo or scanning a photo isn't as good as cropping the actual file for a specific use. Taking a scan of a portrait and having it reprinted either on your printer or a commercial printer can provide terrible results - these files can be and are saved to be printed in a specific way... and frankly, some credit wouldn't be bad either.
I ask you, gentle readers, to do two things for me:
1. If you've had a great portrait made recently that you must use on Facebook or one of the other sites, ask the photographer who made that portrait for you for permission to use it in that manner. They would appreciate it!
2. And educate yourself!
Some lite reading:
http://www.copyright.gov/
http://creativecommons.org/
http://www.csusa.org/face/stilim/index.htm

And here on my site is my take for the benefits of my clients:
http://www.snowprophoto.com/FAQs.html

Sincerely,

a frustrated portraitist!

(BTW: The CEOs presentation was finished by someone else who didn't have a problem picking "the flowers across the fence.")

New work for old

2009-09-02T21:54:00.006-05:00

Formally announcing I am really in business for myself. Kind of a scary proposition; to be one's own boss. Can't complain too much about that person... you have to see her everyday! Ha!
Anyway, since Friday, I've made my Facebook page (become a FAN!!), made mini business cards, have talked to 1 or 2 prospective clients. Asked for a bid on technology and skills I know nothing about, gotten set up to accept credit cards, talked to a prospective partner on bartering... Have I mentioned I haven't had the chance to shoot ANYTHING! argh! oh my and the list gets longer. But as Tara said: "Tamorra' is another day!" (Gotta' say it with the drawl!) Keep on, keepin' on!

A LEAP of faith!

2009-08-30T20:57:00.002-05:00

Wow, It's been a while. A lot has happened. Friday was my last day at work. Many people are asking what I am going to do. It's nice to be certain. I am going to get up - not with an alarm - and go downtown with my husband to collect his last paycheck. He retired the same day I quit. My ex-employer will mail mine.
While I am taking it easier, I do have a plan. One that keeps getting longer and longer. I will work on my marketing, the first book I need to complete. Oh, and clean my house - again. Let the puttering begin! We will plan our trip to Kentucky. Look around San Antonio, and maybe, just maybe, go float in my friend's pool. I am one of those lucky one's who always had something else to do. I want to start cross-stitching again, and I cannot forget beading.... I am a bit concerned about money... an who isn't in this day and age. I've taken that leap of Faith that has driven me for so long... God will provide.

Well, bless me!

2009-07-21T19:46:00.003-05:00

Wow! I am thrilled to announce that the one print that had merited regionally, Snowy Canyon, pictured above has gone on to the PPA Loan status! Happiness means Loan Status!!

I just submitted my Print Competiton Case!

2009-04-30T22:01:00.004-05:00

As I mentioned before, I had been working on my Print competition case. Whew! Got it mailed for overnight delivery this morning. The new upload feature is pretty cool - since I am asking them for a video critique - it'll be even more interesting!
Here are the images I submitted. I'd love to hear some comments...

The first one is called "Mr. Fields". I was raising money for Operation Smile by doing the pictorial directory at my church... and this cute guy came in for his portrait. What a great guy!

The second one is called "That Look". Its of a contractor from work and her finance... We had such a nice time doing this.

A lot has happened

2009-04-20T18:25:00.002-05:00

Wow, a lot has happened since my last post. This past month has been seriously twisted. Up and down, back and forth.
Bryan is getting ready to retire. A lot happening at work and at church. Lauren's school is almost done. One more semester there. Trying to finish up competition prints, did my state sales tax today....
I'm brain tired. Each year I wonder if I can make it to my next vacation ... am in that boat now.
So, soon I will post a tutorial i am working on. As soon as my brain rests... wish me good ju-ju as my daughter says.

A gift.

2009-04-05T23:18:00.006-05:00

Last Thursday (March 26th - I think) brought some sad news. One of the sweetest women I know took ill and went to the hospital. I think she was in her late eighties. Still so vibrant, sharp and oh, so sweet. Always so kind to my daughter and I when we went to church.

Several months ago, I had a brainstorm. (yes, it hurt - a little.) I had been trying to think of a way to participate in the Professional Photographers of America's Operation Smile fund raising. Since I am a corporate photographer and do not run my own shop, I just didn't see a way. But, it had been several years since my church had a pictorial directory done, I thought, aha!
So, I approached the vestry with my idea, they would get the portraits of everyone, and those who wanted to help me raise funds to PPA Operation Smile would get prints of their portrait session.
On February 8, my assistant (my husband, Bryan) and I started this endeavor. I photographed this lovely lady and her husband. Their portrait turned out beautiful. I was so pleased to share it with them but a little disappointed that they did not want to participate in the outreach. We ended up making portraits for nearly 75% of the church family - and a great majority of those wanted to participate.

March 31 I received word that she had passed on. I immediately thought that the portrait I made of her and her husband was the last one made of them together. And it did not belong to me. It belonged to her family.
On Wednesday night, I printed up a 11 x 14 as a gift to her husband. He was so grateful.
Her gift to me and my daughter was love. My gift was one of paper and ink.

Martha, you will be missed.

At Work. Find ART.

2009-01-21T20:54:00.004-06:00

I am just finishing Annie Lebovitz's book, At Work. My sister, Dana gave it to me for Christmas... Lovely inscription - one that I would hope comes true! Suffice to say that she expresses so many of the thoughts I have while working diligently as a corporate/editorial/commercial photographer. She does capture what I try to include on my personal work -- trying to include "just enough" of the "every day clutter" to make things look real -- while maintaining control over her "tools" - the camera and the light. Really, she does make it look easy - and it is - given her experience(s).
All this has gelled some thoughts...
on smiling - A.L. says she never asks anyone to smile -- so I'm gonna stretch and give that a whirl. She thinks they look fake - I agree with her when she tells of the first time her daughter faked a smile. Her heart sank. Too true. My daughter + fake smile= same reaction in me. People standing, arms just dangling, right in front of a curtain -- not posing, just being... is this something I could bring to my editorial work?
on technology - i, too, struggled trying to find the art after turning first to the computer to do my art - So much of my work lost its spontinaity. And then again when I put down the illustrative tools and picked up the camera. Another technology to learn to use as a TOOL. I could still see, I could still create - but I NEEDED to use this tool. And then AGAIN, when I was pressed into learning to use off camera strobes... Now that is tough. trying to balance ambient and strobes - not overpowering...
Natural light shooters have it made.
Timing is everything. It was easier for her - she was at the forefront... she was one of the first. That gave her a distinct advantage. Her courage to go out and do when she didn't know any better -- she just did it.(many of the fotos she included in her book I didn't understand...those "rules" were broken...) So many times, i have been told "don't do it like that" - well dam it - I need to break rules - act like I'm the first & am making the rules - more often.
I have gained great success in my small world doing what i am doing... i need to break out of my comfort zone and gain back my creativity... Gotta find my art again.

You never know...

2009-01-03T09:51:00.005-06:00

I took 2 weeks off from the Corporate World to spend some time doing personal projects and so I could spend some quality time with Bryan - and Lauren ... when she was here.
Before Christmas, we were running around with our heads cut off trying to get ready for the big day. We even made it to church! (hey, Fr. Ram!)
After the big day, we were concentrating on getting Lauren off to the Big Apple. (Time Square on New Years!!)
Between family and friends, we have been busy...

Several months ago, Bryan and I participated in NAPP's Photo Walk. It was an opportunity to act tourist in our own town... we shot a lot of photos then we met at a local burger joint to compare images and share notes.. it was great! We met some local pro-am photographers, some folks with guts and really good eyes! I think I did pretty well. I think I captured some singular shots of San Antonio, just trying to express my vision. (Bryan did too -- you can find the images on Flickr.) Then 3 weeks ago i received an email from Schmaps.com telling me they found my image on Flickr and if it made the final cut could they use it - with a byline!! Just got word they published the site with my image...Woo-hoo.. yea - not paid, but its a byline!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T00:47:00.007-06:00

Many people write what has happened in the previous year in a year end letter - sent to friends... family... sometimes acquaintances...
So many times, i just don't figure that anyone want to read that Lauren excelled for the umpteenth time at thus and such -- (she did) and that she was struggling but seems much happier now -- (she is!:)) Or that I've met both my "Professional Goals" this year - entered the PPA print competitions and one of my prints was awarded "Merit Print" and will go into the next level of competition. (See the un-watermarked photo-Whew!) I took the Adobe Certified Expert exam for Photoshop CS3 (I know - 4 just came out and I am a little behind the curve there - work won't update until CS10 at least!) and passed with flying colors! So now I am double certified!!! Bryan is getting ready to retire -- and is looking forward to sleeping for 3 months. Friends and family kept us hopping!
But enough for last year, what's up for this year? I resolve to shoot more people, complain less, eat at home more, work out more, don't go to bed until I do the dishes.... love more, dance more, forgive more. (That's a biggie - I didn't used to hold onto things - but as I love say - the corporate world has forced me to "grow my inner bitch" - ouch.) and blog more... oh, yea - blog more. Between, tweeting, Facebook and this - I'll also learn to type! I think I'll look into finishing my bachelor degree... I'll see.

so hello new year - - much love and blessings to this newest of times --& saying goodbye to the last eight years -- never looking back!

Its been a while

2008-04-24T21:46:00.004-05:00

a lot has happened.

After those first few days, my vision settled a bit. I went to my second post-op - a week or so after the stitches came out, and all was healing well. I finally came off the steroid drops, they were making my stomach ache. And 2 weeks after that - i went back to Dr. Rakish for my "final" post-op. She gave me a glowing report. Strange things tho... before the procedure, when they mapped my cornea, there were "issues" - i guess that they were not even or something. Anyway - when her office took a reading just last week - she told me they were "unremarkable" - meaning they became normal since the procedure. She said better than normal. I am still putting eye drops in every chance I get - maybe its because I am continually lubricating them? And I have 20/15 vision... it has settled a bunch - but not perfectly yet.. Sometimes I really have to concentrate.

My eyes are DRY -- hence the dropping, and the specularity of bright lights has really increased. Like having a star filter on all the time.. it takes some getting used to, but all is well. I think the saga of my right eye is complete! One last thing - Dr. Rakish said I was 1 in 1000 people - that what I suffered was NOT normal. Don't let my story deter you. It was scary, but worth it.

I'm going to go to my first "formal" photography school for some hands on posing lessons next week - who knew it was such a science? I'll learn to make art from the science - that's what I do!! I am excited. I'll probably blog a bit from there.

First day back at work.

2008-03-26T22:09:00.003-05:00

All went well. I was disappointed much of the day because of the quality of vision. Even in my left eye. But, Dr. Snip said to stay patient. So, I am.
My friends rock. Lorri P who picked me up so I could get to work. David G, MEL, Leon, Bergin and i cannot forget Polly. She really helped me gather my wits last week. A lot of photography to do, and I am doing it. yay!
I got home and passed out. I was simply exhausted. I never knew how much I relyed on my vision just to keep my balance, bearings... more things physical than I thought.
Nope, I didn't get over to get any Azteca.. darn it.

Azteca

2008-03-25T21:57:00.002-05:00

Something to make me feel better.
What with all the eye drops - yes, still. I taste them, and yuck - indigestion. Tomorrow will be better.
Hummm. We went Sunday to Brindles Ice Creamery. The neighborhood place to meet, great and dig great homemade ice cream. There was this lady there trying and trying different kinds of the cold goodness. I couldn't resist! I jumped in and said; "They've ruined me for any other kind of ice cream. Azteca... the best. " A lot chocolate, chocolate chunks, cinnamon and oh! - don't forget the vanilla. fold in some almonds and you've got a treat. I bought her a cup. She loved it! It was good all around!

Today, i continued to drop junk in my eyes -- steroid drops, lubricant and antibiotics -- i dropped $500.00 on new tires - ouch. Maybe tomorrow I'll get some Azteca... That'll be better! yea, that'll be better.

A new vision

2008-03-24T06:33:00.001-05:00

Really. A new vision. I wasn't blind - by any means. I had to wear glasses for distance - and for close up work. Being a photographer I must have broken 3 or 4 pairs of glasses as I worked over the past 3 years. Luckily, they were warranted. Being a visual artist all my 50 years, it was growing increasingly irritating fighting with dirty/smudgy/scratchy glasses. Anything that impeded my vision was just not to be.
Last year I started doing research into Lasik surgery. Scary yes, - nope - that's all. Scary. But as they say, no pain, no gain. All the anecdotal stories, the positive articles published here there and yon. The positive nature of the entire process that is out there for all to see. And hey, I have great insurance. So, while the insurance really didn't pay (its an elective surgery), it did offer a good discount. I set the goal to have it done 1st quarter of the year -- and see what could be seen.
I went under the knife (Laser) on March 20.
The experience itself was interesting to say the least. I took my meds (Valium) when I arrived, and promptly went into the "so-what" attitude. I guess one needs that in order to allow a great big laser beam into one's eye. And you know. It was easy. It was indeed painless, but it was scary too. They set me up with a very stylish eye shield, some fancy sunglasses, and loads of steroid drops, antibiotic drops, pain relief pills, and lubrication drops. Pills as I needed for pain. The drops alternated on the first day (steroid/lubrication), every 30 minutes until bed time. The antibiotic drops were easier - only 4 times a day. And oh, a doctor ordered Nap? What's better than that? All was well; I watched Jay Leno for the first time from my bed without my glasses and saw him and his guest, John Edwards in crystal clarity. It was truly a miracle.
But then. If all went as expected, I wouldn't be writing this.
About midnight, I awoke to pain in my right eye. My eye shield was intact and in place. What could have happened. After dropping in some lubricant, and took a tentative look around my moonlit bedroom, I was afraid. My left eye was perfect, my right -- only light and shape - no definition, no vision. The pain that awoke me felt like a log in my eye. I said a quick prayer - relubricated the eye but to no avail. Still the same result. Lights and shape.. And it wasn't anything like the pretty background boket that one gets when shooting a portrait at f1.8. It was just mush. I tossed and turned for about an hour. Woke my husband - cuz misery loves company! And we called the doctor to make a party of it. As they say: Two's company, three's a party!
He decided, although he really needed to see it; that I dislodged the flap somehow and it needed to be refloated. Bryan and I really did not go back to sleep.

Friday. Floating. humm. sounds like no problem. even fun!
Boy, was I wrong. Apparently, my flap got all bunched up in the corner of my eye. Picture a wad of waste paper.. microscopic, floating in the corner of your eye. Ouch.
We met the doctor at 7:45 am in front of his office. He promptly investigated the problem, and indeed, did a refloat. Unfortunately, just like a piece of paper that has been wadded up, it now had wrinkles and creases in it. Not good for vision. Another Ouch! So, he had the office "OR" prepped for me, and in I went. They put numbing drops in, and put in a speculum to keep my eye lids out of the way. Both eyes were to be open; and yes, I was awake. Keeping my focus on the bright light focused on my eyes, he said he need to put some microscopic stitches in to keep the flap drum-tight. Picture the tension straps on a drum. So he proceeded to stitch my eye up. I thought I counted 20 stitches - but who knows? Then he inserted a Bandage Contact Lens to keep all the stitch ends from irritating my eye lid. He said, and I quote,"we are going to try to salvage your flap..." That sent my emotions off -- I started to cry as they led me back to the normal exam room. My left eye- of course is great. My right -- while I could now see out of it, it was as if I had Vaseline smeared over it. But hey, another doctor ordered nap came with the procedure -- I was down with that. Between the Darvocette, the massive dose of oral steroids, and getting little to no sleep the previous night, I wanted to sleep.
So, off to sleepy time for me. When I awoke, I started in on the same regimen of drops for my right eye - and reduced to 4x a day drops for my left eye.

Between all the droppings and naps, bad movies and bad TV, his words came back to haunt me. "Trying to salvage your flap." In any other life - I could live with that. This was simply unacceptable. I have been drawing since I can remember. doing art. Its something I have always shared with my mother - my first teacher - in so many things. "Simplify Dawn", is what she always told me. "Add a little here -- there's too much there... see what you can take out."
When I was a teenager, i realized my father was a visual artist as well -- by trade he is an engineer. But then he started teaching B&W darkroom procedure at the Southwest Craft Center in the mid 70s. He eventually opened up a darkroom supply house with gallery space on Broadway. (For you locals it was called Byron's Place). It was there that I was introduced to the Ansel Adams zone system and the amazing works that could be done. Both my parents were artists. I come from a long line of using both eyes.
My fears came out. My whole career has been based on what I see. I act as lead staff photographer/senior photo editor for my employer, and have honed my visual style to one that has been accredited by the Professional Photographers of America. I earned my Certified Professional Photographer designation just last fall. So, if we couldn't salvage my flap - what am i to do? I cried and cried some more. Talked to mom, scared my brother enough so he wouldn't get it done. (Sorry, Scott) To the people I called, I thank you for your words of encouragement. Not to be forgotten; my normal Optomotrist, Dawn Rakish was simply wonderful. She called Friday afternoon and spoke to my husband, and again on Saturday to check up on me. She said what happened is very rare -- and that I was 1 out of 100. Naturally.

I had a post op appointment with Dr. Snip - the opthomologist on Saturday morning at 7:30 and I was going to get a "good job." My husband - God bless him, set the alarm to go off every 30 minutes throughout Friday night... I was up to redrop my injury. I think it was the longest night of my life!

Saturday, the sacrifice in sleep paid off.
I got good news on Saturday. It looked good. The swelling was pretty good, but the steroids were keeping things under control. He had another doctor look at me, and said "Shes a set up for DKI" -- some sort of infection.. argghh. Nothing to do but take more naps - take it really easy and keep the drops going. He didn't want to see me until Monday (Sunday was Easter!) at 7:30. Get me in early!

Monday, The stitches are out!
We woke up again very early. In the night, I reduced the dropping frequency to about 4 times in the night and of course still sleeping with my shield on. When we got to the doctor's office, he sat me down in the exam room and plucked out the contact lens. (Could he have waited another 30 seconds to allow the numbing drops to fully take effect? I think so.) Boy, I thought I had a porcupine in my eye! All the stitch ends sticking up - I immediately started tearing up. He grabbed his little tool - glad I really couldn't see it and started to pull on the stitches. I had to keep both eyes open, that was really hard. One girl was in to keep my lids pulled back and I had to do my left eye! OUCH!!! Seven stitches later -- by then it felt like 50... they were all out.

The goal: 20/30
After everything is done, and my vision settles down, I think it will all be worth it. Right now, I am at 20/60. Eventually, I will be at 20/15. 2 hours after the stitches come out - I am still itchy there, and I have a lot of rescheduling of photo gigs to do. I am not sure if I can shoot with confidence in my right eye. I will do some experimental shooting with my left eye to see what I can do.

That's the nutshell, but here's the nut.
What could I have done? Who would I have been? Up until a year ago, I always knew I was a talented artist, but was too humbled by the comments given by what-ever/who-ever saw it within their right to judge my work. I find out now, usually motivated by jealousy. I turned 50 last June. In doing so, I have given myself permission to recognize that which I so fervently sought after - permission to be good. Permission to be great. The fear of losing my sight - even in one eye was too much to consider. I am finally in a place in my life (career being only a part of that) that I know what I can do. And am striving to do it. And I am realizing that I am good. If someone doesn't want me to shoot their wedding, then I'll be in my back yard weeding. If some one doesn't want my vision for a portrait - I am fine painting what I want. I will be considering changes to the way I work as well as the types of personal work I do. Its got to matter - its too important.

My optometrist: Dr. Dawn Rakish, my ophthalmologist: Dr. Robert Snip. Both very good. Both caring, heartfelt care. I thank both of you!
And to my husband - Bryan for being there - holding my hand, being the love of my life.

Thanks for reading.